It’s Friday. Again. Already. Wow.
On Monday, there was no question – I needed to turn the lights on at home to get ready for work. Today, I have arrived at my desk and I am stubbornly NOT putting my light on to see my keyboard correctly. I am NOT giving in to the dark mornings; they will come soon enough. Tom reminded me yesterday that the clocks go back in the UK soon. That means it really is autumn. I also read something on Expat Focus about temperatures plummeting by up to 14 degrees. Due to a ‘blast of cold air’ moving from north to south. The infographic shows the temperatures forecast to go from 28.5 today to 19.5 tomorrow and then 17.6 on Sunday. It will bounce back to a balmy 20 on Monday. I already thought winter had come on Monday evening when, waiting for a Didi after dinner, I was positively chilly. It was 20 degrees according to my app... I definitely prefer the Shanghai summer and could categorically never join my friends in Moscow.
Again, I find myself needing to start this before work. This time due to a bank visit for something completely ridiculous. Without realising, I managed to report my bank card lost or stolen on my bank app (I was trying to see my statement). So, when I went to a cash point in an attempt to get cash, it told me my card had been reported as stolen and swallowed it. Oops! There is, however, a background to this. After the staff BBQ, I was shopping with a friend and could get neither WeChat or Alipay to work with error messages about a card issue. I wasn’t overly worried because I was still able to log into my internet banking and, fortunately, my money was still there. Phew. I hadn’t been hacked and had my money stolen. Luckily, my friend paid for my shopping, and I was able to access the ‘Bank of Joseph’ via WeChat, so I once again felt secure. Prior to this, I had a small amount of cash and a metro card so could always get home (as well as being my mother’s daughter, I was taught to carry a 10p piece for the phone as a Brownie), but I hadn’t followed my own advice of always having an Alipay balance ‘just in case’ and this didn’t sit well with me. Fast forward and somehow, I was linking my cash-flow with my personal situation of living apart from Joseph; surely this was evidence that I wasn’t capable! I was angry with myself. I was a successful professional and independent solvent woman, beholden on another. I wasn’t feeling this because of what anyone else said, did or even implied. In fact, everyone else seemed to think nothing of it, just as I wouldn’t in the reverse situation. I don’t even know why I jumped to these conclusions. The only thing I can think is that I was, once again, suffering from imposter syndrome.
I’m listening to a great podcast by Scarlett Curtis and one of her guests was speaking about imposter syndrome this morning, so I think that’s where today’s ‘thought’ came from. Scarlett herself is still in her 20s and has some impressive achievements behind her. She has overcome some significant health issues and, given her massively successful parents, I am not sure whether her success has, in part, been because of her upbringing or in spite of it. When your parents co-produce Notting Hill and Love Actually and your mom produced Live 8 (as well as many other massively impactful achievements past and present), it can be said that there is a level of expectation placed upon you. The people she speaks with and the experiences they speak of make it completely clear that, however challenging my day is and whatever challenges I have faced, am facing and will face, I am very privileged and in control of my own life. I just have to remember that while not giving myself a hard time! Things happen, we deal with them and we move on. Life’s too short for ‘yes, but’ s.
I’m finishing this while listening to my good old ‘Random Stuff that I like’ playlist and, having clicked the ‘enhanced’ button earlier, Spotify’s AI is treating me to Sunshine on a Rainy Day by Zoe.
Happy Friday all!
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